All And Enough
by NanaMun
Summary: Edward is fed up with Emmett's double life - as a straight football player and his lover - but he can't call it quits until the new boy shows up - gay and the new quarterback for the school's team and completely enamored with Edward.


**Disclaimer: This story contains graphic sexual encounters between two men. If you have a problem, I bid you adieu.**

**Characters not owned by I**

**\/**

**All and Enough**

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry." His breath hit my skin in short puffs as he attempted to kiss my internal scars away. He was only adding insult to injury.

He _dare_ he do this now?

I saw him with his jock friends in the hallway. The _fag_ jokes they were exchanging. He was so comfortable letting them talk freely about pillowbiters, ass pirates, fruits, queers...He was _laughing_.

And when he saw me standing there, he regretted it. I was the only one who knew, because I was the _fag_ he was fucking.

And here he was not 12 hours later, spooning me in my bed as an apology.

"I can't do this anymore, Emmett." I said through gritted teeth. No matter how mad I was at him, his lips still felt like heaven, his body was still beautiful. I may have been stupid enough to believe I was in love with him.

"No, don't say that." I felt the bed move behind me. There was no use turning to see what he was doing. My room was so dark, I couldn't even make out my own hands. I wondered how he was able to slip into my window and find me. I had made an effort to make it as difficult as possible, with the exception of actually _locking_ the window.

I felt warmth on my face and shrank back. He was in front of me now. He was going to work his magic again, have me take back those words. But I was more clever. The dark worked wonders when I didn't have to see the hurt on his face.

"Babe, they were just talking. You know how they are." He tried.

"I don't care. You laughed."

"If I didn't..." He didn't let the sentence finish, but I was all too certain to what he was going to say. If he didn't laugh, they'd assume he didn't find it funny. Therefor he _was_ a fag. Which wasn't a stretch really, seeing how he was.

"Yeah." I replied in a small voice. It would have been a lie to say that this didn't hurt me. We had been doing this for over a year. And now that we were beginning our senior year, I assumed that maybe he'd lose the fear of being found out, only it seemed to have gotten worse. He was more invested in the jock life, I was already seeing less of him and here I was catching him enjoying the topics his so-called friends discussed.

"It's over." I said into the dark.

Why shouldn't I be angry? He asked for sex only, I gave him that. He asked for us not to be friends, I didn't hesitate to oblige. He came to see me on his own whim; he called me in the middle of the night. He even picked me up on random days, driving me out of the town so we could be seen in public, although never in an intimate capacity. I was patient, I was understanding; I was a fucking idiot.

"Edward..." I hated the sound of his voice just then. It didn't work well with his build, with that dimpled smile and curly brown hair. I was happy to be in the dark.

"From now on, you won't have to pretend we aren't friends, because we're not." I tried to mask my hurt, but my voice still shook, "Please leave, Emmett."

"Babe, don't do this."

"Please," I begged, pushing away from his body, "Just leave." I couldn't do this anymore, no matter how hard it hurt letting him go at that moment, I knew it would hurt less than him leaving me in the time it took him to give in to his fears.

He wasn't queer to the rest of the world.

I was.

**xXx**

Dead morning. Another day without a night to look forward to. We were in our second month of school, the Fall being just as dreary as the last. I had done well avoiding sight of Emmett, exceptional work not answering his calls and quite brilliantly locking my window the moment he stepped out of it for the last time.

He was relentless.

Cornering me in empty hallways at lunch when I was avoiding the cafeteria and following me to my car before his practice. I wouldn't look at him or say a word. It was too late to apologize. He had his chances and I wasted my time. It hurt like hell though.

But that October morning it hurt a bit too much. I marched in, eyes trained to the floor. I was aware of how much the boys at school knew about me. I didn't hide my lack of interest in girls and I was never scared to argue against what I was. People just knew it. I sucked cock. It made life at Forks High that much harder.

I walked straight to my locker, managing the turn of the small wheel before tugging and opening the latch. I stuffed my homework inside, before grabbing my textbook for my first class. I heard the eruption of voices down the hall. I was familiar with whom it was - the jocks. But they were a little noisier this morning. I sneaked a glance, catching the sight of long legs, those of a woman. I frowned and followed the figure up. She wore an amused, smug grin as she strutted in my direction. She wasn't alone. Her hands were clasped to another. My eyes trailed the fitted sweater that hugged the bicep muscle so nicely. There was the dimpled smile and the beautiful soft tendrils I used to play with after spasming against a rather thick cock.

They walked slowly in my direction, Emmett's friend hooting and hollering, asking about when they 'hooked up'. I supposed this was Headline News for them as well. Breaking News for me - Heart Breaking News.

I wasn't sure what hurt most; that he was lying to them or that he actually _moved_ on so fast. Was he attempting to be straight, or had I been a lapse in judgment?

I hadn't cried when I broke it off with Emmett. I was too angry and hurt. I didn't cry when I realized that I actually lost a friend as well. It was like a numb shock. But seeing him there that morning, with the beautiful girl, blonde, blue eyed and wonderfully shaped, I felt my dam break. I faced the inside of my locker, hiding myself from the jocks and the students who passed by with curious glances back at the couple. I feigned interest in searching for an important object unknown to an observer. My shoulders shook as I choked on silent sobs. I didn't want the tears to fall, but they did. This well couldn't be dammed at the moment. It could only be damned.

I felt angry. At myself for letting us go this far and at him for thinking that those boys that surrounded him were more important than me and his identity, if there even was one. I would have stood there all morning, crying pitifully in my locker's small space, but luck would have it, I was spotted.

"Something wrong, Gorgeous?" It was a deep voice. It had me jumping out of my skin, whipping my head around to see who spoke. I blinked in astonishment, drinking him in. He looked brawny, but not in the same sense as Emmett who was absurdly intimidating. The boy I stared at had a more slender frame, yet towered a few inches higher than my ex. He was watching me with warm, brown eyes. He had hair like silk that fell pass his shoulders and down his back. He wore it like a proud mane. It fell freely on his exposed tanned arm that bulged as he moved them up. I bit back a gasp when I felt a thumb collect a tear on my cheek.

"I'm sorry if I-" I hiccupped, unsure of what to say. I had never cried in public, let alone been caught.

"Shh," He soothed, "Who would make such a pretty boy cry?" I blinked back at him, completely thrown. No boy of his brawn would ever say such a thing. His hand hadn't left my cheek and I felt my skin burn at the contact. He couldn't have said that. No one would have said that, not even Emmett in public. And how did he know that _someone_ did this?

"I only ever see someone cry like that if their heart has been broken," He seemed to read my mind, "And given the place and time you'd do this..." He bit his lip, his eyebrows furrowing in thought.

"I'm fine." I croaked and sniffled, before averting my eyes.

"Did something happen with your boyfriend?" He asked softly, as if he didn't want to encourage another sob from me. My heart hammered in my chest as I finally met his eyes.

"How did you..?" I suddenly felt exposed and threatened. He couldn't have known that I was with someone. No one did at the school, even if they knew I was gay. It was just one step closer to knowing _who_ it was. I tucked my book in my bag before slamming my locker shut, turning away from the beautiful stranger.

"Hey, hey." He called softly. I felt a hand on my arm, stopping me from leaving.

"Don't," I pleaded, "Don't tell anyone. I don't know how you know-"

"Someone as delicious as you couldn't be straight," He stated as if he was talking about something innocent, "And I won't tell anyone. Whatever you're upset about is your business."

I stared back, trying to read him. Was he gay? He didn't look it at all, but to judge his orientation based on looks was as bad as the jocks calling me a fag because I never showed interest in girls. It didn't matter. Whatever orientation he was, he turned out to be a sweet guy, "Thanks."

"It's my pleasure, Beautiful." He gave me a full smile and I swore I could feel my knees knock, "And please, let me know when you're over the loser that let you go. I would love to put a smile on that pretty face of yours." He said sweetly before walking in the general direction of the jocks.

**xXx**

The new quarterback was all that people talked about at school other than Emmett's new, bright and shiny girlfriend. There was a murmur of his name on the tips of girls' tongues, whispered in a whimper of a sigh; _Jacob_.

I hadn't seen who this Jacob was. Word was he transferred to our school at the end of last year, a star quarterback at his last High School. He had no girlfriend and pretty much kept to himself with the exception of a few events spent with the football team. He had shown his worth on field and had helped facilitate the school on a winning streak. I hadn't considered him until I heard his name from Emmett.

It was the end of the day, a week after my heart was completely broken. The last seven days pretty much involved me avoiding the shards of what was left of it at my feet. But what did it matter? When something is unfixable, why attempt to avoid destroying it any farther?

I was just zipping up my backpack when I heard the familiar booming laugh and beautiful voice, "Yeah, Jake you have been killing it this season," Emmett complimented, "I've been praying we'd get someone worthwhile and it seems my prayers were answered." There was a chuckle not too far from me and my back went rigid.

"It's good to have you as back-up," I assumed was Jacob. Hell, he sounded familiar, "I'd pretty much be shit under cleats if you didn't have my back out there." There was a thudded clap, as if a hand on the clothed bulging muscle of my ex's arm. I bit back a sob and hurried to get my backpack on. I didn't care that the locker shut with a loud clang.

"Hey Beautiful." I paused, hearing that phrase and trying to put a face on it. That had been directed at me before. I felt a hand on my shoulder, "What has you so upset?"

My eyes widened and I turned, catching sight of the drop dead gorgeous boy from the previous week. His long, ebony hair was hidden and balled in a sloppy ponytail at the nape of his neck. His full lips were pulled back in an alluring grin. His eyes searched my own before twinkling with amusement.

"I -I'm not-" I stammered, getting an eyebrow raise.

"Jake?" The voice had me jumping away from his touch. Just over his shoulder, I could make out the confusion on Emmett's face as he watched the interaction between us with guarded eyes.

"Em, this is...?" He looked to me, waiting for me to finish the sentence.

"Edward." I said in a choked reply.

"Edward." He repeated with a beautiful smile, "Edward that is my teammate Emmett." He cocked his head towards Emmett whose beautiful boyish face darkened in what appeared to be anger.

"And you're Jacob." I finished, already piecing together the last week. I hadn't seen him before and we were in a pretty small school. And he was the only guy other than Emmett that I found ridiculously attractive and worth every compliment the girls directed at him.

He winked, "I am." I felt my skin flush and I looked away, hoping I wasn't making myself obvious. My eyes met with Emmett's and I held my breath. His expression had changed considerably. I had never seen the look before.

In a deep growl of a voice he asked, "Do you two know each other?"

Jacob cocked his head at me, most likely noting the pink tinge to my cheeks, "Yeah. He had some boyfriend problems last week and I was wondering when he'd move on to bigger and better things." I let out an audible gasp, noticing how Emmett's fists clenched at his sides. If Jacob noticed, he played ignorant. Turning to Emmett, he asked, "Why? You know Edward?"

I didn't want a chance for him to answer. I didn't want to crumble at the idea of Emmett dismissing me, "No," I spoke up, meeting eyes with Emmett briefly. He blinked back in shock, "We don't." A look of defeat took over Emmett's form as his shoulders' slumped. Jacob caught the look, and then turned to me with raised brows as if asking me what just happened.

I had no idea.

"I have to go meet up with Rose." Emmett said in an entirely new voice, one I heard only once before; the night I broke up with him.

"Huh." Jacob said with a smirk. He looked like a man who found treasure, "You go do that, man," He then turned to me, a devious look on his face, "I'll stick around."

My heart at this point was pounding in my throat. Jacob knew. He had to. In a frenzied panic, I looked to Emmett. He was walking down the empty halls of the school, glancing over his shoulder. Our eyes met, and for just that second, I could have sworn we were right back in the safe confines of my bedroom.

**xXx**

His warm body made me more comfortable than I wanted to be. I gripped the steering wheel, keeping my eyes ahead. There wasn't much I could do, I tried to convince myself. Emmett and I weren't anything. Not an item, not friends with benefits. Hell, not even friends. But why did I feel guilty agreeing to Jacob's company, finding the way he stared at me like that so damn hot? Why was I suddenly curious as to whether or not he was gay? He definitely had no fears of coming off as so. If Emmett didn't know every bit of information about me, Jacob would have outted me right there in the school's hallway.

"You can't stay quiet forever, Beautiful." Jacob's voice was deep and lulling, even with the hint of amusement laced in its sultry whisper.

"Why do you call me that?" Was he just being funny?

"It's the first thing I thought when I saw you." the answer derailed me from farther inquisitions.

"Don't say that." I stammered, braking at a light. I had no idea where we were going. He requested an early dinner, but I couldn't decide whether a fast food restaurant or a diner.

He laughed, "Why not?"

"People can mistake you for being-" I glanced at him briefly and he gave me a look, asking me to go on. When I didn't, he chuckled, shaking his head.

"Gay?" He asked, kicking his legs out in front of him. His body was fit and tight and long, his head nearly grazing the roof of my car, "That'd be a good thing, wouldn't it?" He winked my way and I looked ahead, hoping he didn't notice my wondering eyes.

"I don't know." And I really didn't. Jacob didn't seem the type to put on airs. And judging by the way he came onto me, there was no doubt he was interested, although I wasn't sure why. I had not much of a leveled head at the moment, and knowing this, I was sure would lead me into trouble.

I missed Emmett, but at the same time I wanted something tangible to move past him. And Jacob was perfect.

"How about we bypass our dinner tonight," Jacob said from the passenger's seat, "I want a taste of dessert."

With shaky hands, I directed the car towards the road, leading to my awaiting empty house.

**xXx**

My hair was permanently adjusted to the wild, just-fucked style after Jacob left. The next morning, despite much effort, I couldn't get it back in place. My hair had never before been difficult to tame, but it seemed to be as stubborn as Jacob had been the previous night. He refused to let me reciprocate anything and when he entered me, he didn't allow me to touch myself. His skilled hands ran the plains of my skin, ghosted over what needed his heated touch. It wasn't until my whines became howls of pleasure, the headboard slammed against the cream walls, my fingers were chalk white in tension, did he stroke me to climax.

He stayed with me until nightfall, until my parents were home, until they went to bed and I drove him back to the campus to get his bike. It was a surreal day. Somehow Jacob gave me what I needed, despite my hesitation to follow through with it. I didn't expect his touch to be so gentle, his kisses to be enrapturing. I wanted to forget Emmett that night, but it seemed that I hadn't. Somehow between Jacob first touching me and leaving me in my car 6 hours later, I had managed to wedge him right next to my ex. Two men I knew intimately, two men I wanted.

I was more so in a mess than I had been in the beginning.

How could I feel anything for the man that technically offered me my first one-night stand?

My hair, like my mind, was a scrambled mess as I stepped out of my car. The Fall air was dry and heavy as usual as I set off to my locker. I hadn't been able to get any homework done considering what I had in me last night - literally.

With my mind on the previous night's events, I blindly walked to my locker, emptying out my backpack before selecting one lone textbook for my first class. I wasn't sure how I was going to focus today or at all for the next year, but I needed to try. I had been thinking about what exactly this meant for me and Jacob. Were we friends, did we do this casually now or was it really a one-time thing? And since he was apparently the new QB, did this mean that somehow made him automatic friends with Emmett and maybe capable of telling him what happened? I held my breath for a second as the idea ran a lap through my brain. That wasn't exactly a bad thing, was it? Emmett knowing I was completely over him, that I had moved on. The demon in me let out a booming laugh, content with seeing Emmett's shock when Jacob told him, yet the lover in me, ached for it to just be a secret. There was something about that look he gave me the day before...

The halls were nearly empty when I came out my stupor. With a tired moan, I tucked the black strap of my backpack on me, before walking the long distance to my class, sneakers squeaking on the linoleum. Passing a narrow hallway leading to the gym room, I felt strong arms snatch me, dragging me out of sight from any on-looking students or teachers.

"What the-" I snapped, turning to face the jerk who grabbed me. It wasn't common that I was grabbed and pushed about by jocks or assholes looking to hit someone smaller and less capable of hitting back, but it had only happened before - well, before Emmett and I started fucking. I wasn't all too sure if he had anything to do with it. And like that, the thought of him, spurred him standing right there, beautiful eyes staring back into my own. I thought I saw longing, but it merely could have been me reflecting back at myself.

"Edward, please tell me you didn't fuck him last night." Were the first words that came out his mouth in a rush of panic. I stared back at him dumbfounded for just a second, not quite getting why he was asking me this, why the lover in me froze with fear at the question, "Edward?"

I shook my head, fighting back the guilt. I hadn't made the mistake here, _he_ did. The moment I became a secret, a boy-toy, _we_ became a disaster waiting to happen, "What does my personal life have to do with you?" the words came out with such malice, I wasn't sure if it was me speaking.

He winced back at the words, his hands falling off my body as if I was on fire. He stared over my shoulder to see if anyone was watching and I had to bite back the tears that stung my eyes. This was definitely the first time he acknowledged me on campus like this, yet it didn't change anything. He was still afraid of being seen with me.

And I felt bad a moment ago?

"Let's not make this a habit." The bitter yet wounded boy in me spoke before the lover in me could. I turned on my heels, making my way to the wide hallway, but felt him pull me back. I hit a wall rather hard. In anger, I opened my mouth to say a slur of other words that could make it out of me, but a palm was pressed next to my head on either side and I felt the familiar warmth of lips on me. I couldn't help the inhale of breath I took, filling my lungs with that tasteful aroma; winter mint.

And just like that, the rush came back - him sneaking in at night, pressing himself against me, a few exchanges of conversation before that dimpled smile tore down any walls of self-control allowing him inside me once more. The orgasms, the hollers of pleasure, the disappointment when he gave me that last longing kiss before slipping out into the night. Did I want that again, after I fought so hard to exercise that demon?

I pressed my hand against his hard chest, pushing him away from me. As much as I wanted this, I couldn't handle the dismissive way he went about his public life with me not in it. This wasn't something I could have with him - ever, "You have _no_ right to do that!" I exclaimed, feeling more like a girl that's been fondled by a date; completely hopeless and violated.

"I'm sorry," He panted against my lips, still so close to me, "I freaked out when you walked away. God, I _hate_ this." He growled and stepped from me, hiding his face in his hands. He looked so small and vulnerable in that moment. There was a second of an internal fight, before I was an inch away from him, touching his soft tawny hair, before cupping his cheek.

"Love," The term I reserved for him only, "Look at me." He dropped his hands slowly, raising his eyes to meet mine, "What do you hate?" I waited with baited breath, hoping he'd say it, anything resembling feelings for me.

He stood now at his full height, pain forming into fury, "I hate that you so willingly offered your ass to Jacob." He belted out. I never seen him this way before, but then again there was a lot of things about Emmett McCarty that I was seeing for the first time.

"So you assumed we fucked?" I asked, incredulous, taking my steps back against the opposite wall.

"Didn't you?" He all but accused.

What was the point of hiding?

"We did." I said, triumph radiating from me, "I hadn't been fucked like that thoroughly in all my life." I made sure to allude that Jacob was indeed more skilled than him. But I would have been lying if I would have said _better_. I couldn't rate sex like that. Jacob did things to me, that Emmett couldn't inspire and it worked the other way around as well. But I didn't want my ex to know this. I wanted to see pain on his face; I wanted to know I meant something even it was just a physical relief, his true identity slipping from him. Maybe he could understand what it was like to have felt like the only other person that understood you completely, could betray you as well. This was not what I _truly _wanted, but didn't I meet this same ending?

"Babe," And the name left his mouth like air left my lungs - so fucking naturally, I felt my legs buckle. What the fuck was going on here? Why wasn't he walking away? I told him what he wanted to know, didn't I? "Please don't do this."

"Do what, Emmett?" I exclaimed, "Move on, get over what _fucked_ up situation we had? There was nothing there - nothing for you," God damnit, if it didn't hurt to say that, "And I think it's only right that I get something for myself, since apparently you have."

"Rosalie isn't you." was his retort.

"Apparently." Was mine.

Hell, if we didn't argue, but somewhere inside, it felt good for him to witness just a bit of what had been bubbling under the surface the last year we were 'together'. I couldn't let him continue. I didn't want to hear about Rosalie, or how it was being with her, whether he tricked himself into believing it was good or not. The fact of the matter was, I wasn't quite over the twisted arrangement of a relationship we had, and he wasn't ready to admit how my open desire for another was something that he wanted for himself. His closet case of a life was no longer my problem.

Without looking over my shoulder, I walked to my first morning class.

**xXx**

The following week was a busy one. I hadn't seen much of Jacob, other than between periods. He made sure to stop by and ask what I was up to, before offering himself up for a 'night rendezvous'. I turned him down, only because of the intense homework from my two AP classes and the mere fact that Emmett had always been a step or two away with the other jocks, Rosalie under his arm. Jacob, with an eye more observant than I'd like to admit, caught it each time, before respectfully backing off, but not before reminding me of a few things.

"I can't forget how good you taste on my tongue; so fucking sweet." Was what he had to say on Monday.

"I hope I can get a better tour of that tight hole with my tongue." Was what he whispered in my ear on Tuesday.

"You think I'll have as much trouble fitting this thick pole in your ass as last time?" He said nonchalantly on Wednesday.

"Those fucking pink lips will look so good wrapped around me cock, don't you think?" He growled in my ear on Thursday.

But it was Friday that unraveled me completely, "The longer you make me wait, and the rougher it'll be for you."

"Jacob." I gasped into his chest. He was pressed so close to me, I'm sure the students in the hall noticed.

"Do you know how fucking delicious you sound right now?" He whispered in my ear, chuckling when all he got was a throaty moan from me. His arms were around my waist, his lips now pressing against my neck, "Should I fuck you right against this locker? Should I let all the boys and girls witness just what they're missing?"

"N-no," I panted, but his hands were already ghosting over my jeans, "People will see-" I groaned just as his palm flattened against my growing cock.

"That's what I intend to happen, Beautiful." He replied with another chuckle before his warm tongue coated my exposed flesh. There was a murmur of voices, but I couldn't make out just who was talking or what was being said, "Let me take you out tonight." He surprised me with the request. I pulled away from him, shock written on my face, I'm sure.

"W-what?" I stammered, "In Port Angeles?" It was where Emmett used to take me.

"Why not here?" He smirked, "We can get tickets for a movie, and I don't care which one. I'll be too busy blowing you in the theatre," He added with a glint in his eyes, "And after, we can have a light dinner and I'll take you home and fuck you until you can't stand."

I gasped, trying to picture it, but it was a Friday which meant, "You have a game tonight." That seemed to get a frown from him.

"Yeah, there is that." He said with a thoughtful look on his face, "Alright, Beautiful. How about after the game, I pick you up, take you to my place where I'll make you dinner, we'll watch a rented movie - blowjob included- and then I fuck you silly. How does that sound?"

I couldn't contain the thrill of the idea. The entire week, I had been partially avoiding what may have been another secret relationship, but it appeared Jacob didn't want that at all and even after pretty much fucking me the first week of knowing me, he was still interested. I couldn't deny that while I was still confused and hurt over the little Emmett and I had, I was drawn to just how different Jacob and I could be. Naturally, I would have thought it foolish to even _consider_ the idea of doing anything with someone else, but with Jacob right there, it was so easy to feel comfortable in my own skin and see the desire in his eyes in natural daylight, not the dim glow of my room lamp. Jacob was confident, funny, coy, sexy and just a fucking God in bed.

"Perfect." I barely was able to make out. I was beyond turned on by his delivery of treating me to dinner, movie and sex, so without thinking, a hand was around his neck pulling him in for a kiss of gratitude. Something about the gesture set him off. With a growl, he pressed me into the lockers, a clattering bang of locks hitting metal behind us as he pulled at my thighs, until my weight was lifted and the heels of my feet were pressing into his ass. My arms instinctively wrapped around his neck, deepening the kiss that much more, so turned on by how he just didn't care who was present. I could faintly make out the shouts in the school hall. Whether they were of hoots and hollers or exclaims of disgust, I didn't particularly give a fuck.

**xXx**

"Good pizza." I commented, chucking a fallen pepperoni in my mouth.

"And it's not delivery." Jacob joked, finishing his last custom slice. The football game ended particularly late, so around 11:00 that evening, Jacob showed up on my driveway, still sweaty from the game, but not so tired from it. My parents, having just climbed into bed, didn't hear me leave through the garage, jump on the back of Jacob's bike before we both shot off into the night. The ride to his place was a pleasant drive. Although we couldn't talk over the sound of the wind and bike engine, we seemed to both enjoy the company of the other. My hands were clasped around his waist, just above his crotch and as he drove faster, I pressed myself against him, lowering my hands without thinking. He shifted under my touch and there wasn't much else he could say to show me he wasn't turned on - his body spoke volumes.

We shot down a less developed road, through a neighborhood with smaller houses and the occasional trailer. It wasn't until we pulled into a wide drive-way looking over a plentiful forest, did I feel that I was in the right place - his home. It wasn't too wide, chipping red paint and a huge shed a few yards behind, but it seemed to suit him just fine.

We were greeted with an empty house. Jacob said to make myself comfortable and pick a movie in the living room. It was a small space with worn couches, but it looked as comfortable as the living room in my home. I picked a horror movie, placed it in the DVD player and walked my way over to the kitchen where he stood proudly holding up a pizza box labeled Digiorno and from there our night began.

"More soda, Beautiful?"

"Sure." I hadn't realized how quick I went through the first can. He came back a moment later with a fresh can in hand and he continued watching the movie in silence. It wasn't until after a particularly creepy scene did he start talking again.

"Your boy seems awfully intent on keeping you for himself." His voice was soft, yet I could hear the annoyance.

I shifted on the couch, fingering the metal tab of the can nervously. There could only be one person he was speaking of, "What makes you say that?" I tried to sound innocent, but my voice shook.

"Considering the fact that he threatened me, I'd say that's more than a theory of mine, it's a fact." At that, my head shot up.

"He _threatened_ you?" Anger boiled in my gut. He gets to play the possessive asshole _as_ he has the girlfriend on the side? What the fuck was going through Emmett's head? Why was he acting this way? "He has a _fucking_ girlfriend!" I exclaimed like it wasn't news to everyone the last two weeks.

"Hard not to see that." Jacob replied calmly, sipping his soda, "I take it you two fucked?"

I sighed, already sick of my personal life being broadcasted, "We had this arrangement. We were not to be seen at school, but he'd come over at night and we'd do whatever he wanted - sometimes even going out to Port Angeles where no one would spot us..." Even saying it out loud made me sound like some weak, little fag, blindly in love with a closeted jock. I placed the soda down on the wooden coffee table. My stomach was already bubbling with acid.

Jacob nodded as if something was made clear for him, "You've never had an open relationship before." He stated.

"You'd be my first." I felt my eyes widen at my slip up and did my best to hide my reddening face with my hands. I jumped, feeling his big paw-like hand over my own.

"Is that what you want, Beautiful?" His serious tone, something I was shocked to hear. He asked me what I wanted - something Emmett never had the will or selflessness to do. Maybe with Jacob, this could be different. Maybe I could actually be happy.

"Yes." I whispered.

I got an affirmative grunt in reply, before I felt his hands gently pushing me against the couch's cushions. I shyly met his gaze and was surprised to see a primal want in his expression. Without another word, he sank to his knees, positioning himself between me and the coffee table, his chest pressed against my crotch. He licked his lips hungrily, before unbuckling my pants with one hand and palming my responding arousal with the other.

"I think I promised you a blowjob."

30 minutes and an orgasm later, I was planted right on Jacob's cock, my hands bunched against his pecs as I did my best to raise my hips on shaky knees. Everything about him was skillfully done as if practiced and mastered over thousands of failed trials. His tongue on me when he sucked me in the living room, the way his eyes met mine as he tongued my slit and worked his hands. How he kept me right on the brink without taking me over until I screamed, begged for him to.

"J-Jac-" I couldn't get his name out. Every inch of my body shook with tremors as I fought to keep control of my body. His fingers, like vices, held my ass as he directed his hips up into me with short, quick bucks, causing my whines to rattle just as my body did, "Fuck me, _please_!" I pleaded, my ass quivering around his thickness. My body fell forward, my chest meeting his and I planted my hands next to his shoulders in an attempt to keep up my weight. The friction of my cock against his hard abs wasn't enough. I began to rock against him, sliding my chest and torso against his, before pulling back down, my ass clenching to suck all of him back in. There was a hiss of pleasure before Jacob followed my rhythm, thrusting right when I rocked on my heels. It felt so good, our bodies working together in efforts to achieve getting each other off.

His full lips caressed my salty skin, before meeting my lips, suckling and biting until I felt them swell from the blood rushing there, "God, your tight ass!" Jacob roared, thrusting hard just as my hips met him. His bed mattress squeaked under the stress of movement just as he thrusted against me again, "Fuck!" He exclaimed, before pulling my ass up until he slipped out of me, "On your stomach, Beautiful." I did just that, climbing off of him, as he sat up to move. Crawling towards the head of the bed, I waited for him on hands and knees, limbs still shaking from the rough housing. How many times had his cock pressed against that hot spot in me, before he adjusted to pulling out so I couldn't come? It was frustrating!

His palm pressed against my upper back, easing my cheek on the bed, planted on his pillow. I inhaled his scent on the cloth, enjoying the musky scent of earth and pine, so unlike Emmett's. In a fit to keep myself from losing control, I fisted my hair, completely losing sight of what he had planned for me. His big, warm hands gripped the inside of my thighs, before lifting me, just so my knees grazed the mattress, before I felt him press against my throbbing entrance, pushing against the muscle ring with enough force to slip in. I cried out, enjoying just how swift his hips worked to find a new rhythm in me. He had complete control on where to piston inside my hole and he chose to direct it right where I wanted him.

"Jacob!" I hollered, flashing briefly to our first night. My throat had been raspy and worn all night. His grip on my thighs tightened as he picked up the speed and force, not holding back as he continuously hit the same electric trigger in me. Each time, I felt my vision brighten, my body hum, and my limbs weaken. I was close.

"I-I'm g-g-" My tongue was heavy and dry. I fucking lost my speech function. My body locked, my sac tightening, before I felt the world close in on me.

"Jesus _Fuckin' _-" Was exactly what I heard before Jacob's fingers loosened around my thighs. My legs crashed down on my mattress, bouncing my body lightly, adding friction to my cock which was already spurting with joyous relief.

The slick, wetness of Jacob's chest was against me was heaven, just as he thrusted into my ass with a few more strong movements, "You feel so good." He whimpered, kissing along my spine until he eventually released his high in me. After a moment of catching my breath, Jacob slid from me, onto his back. I couldn't move, couldn't look up. I was _that_ spent. I heard the familiar snap of a condom, before Jacob moved. The bed felt empty for only a moment, until it weighed down again.

"You okay, baby?" He asked gliding his fingers along my back. I shuddered under his touch, before rolling to my side, my back against his chest.

"That was-" I tried to figure out a coherent way to say it, but I failed.

"I know." I felt his smile against my neck. We relaxed, his body spooning into mine. It was unfamiliar, yet so welcome and satisfying. It held its own with the sex. This was what I wanted - something Emmett could never give me.

But fuck if I wanted him to.

**xXx**

My mind was trying to erase the short curls, the dimpled smile, squeezing in the ebony hair, flowing and teasing my naked flesh, brown eyes, smoldering and hypnotizing to watch as I came. In my attempts to forget one and replace it with the other, I ended up securing both in my memory banks.

Weeks passed, dates came and went and the school was pretty much privy to me and Jacob's relationship. I got jealous stares from girls and the occasional homophobic comment from a jock or two, but pretty much everyone kept to themselves. Jacob was in no way as intimidating as Emmett, but he damn sure knew how to hold his own in _every_ way possible. In fact, he was quite the trouble-maker. I often found myself in compromising situations with him. Blowjobs in the theatre were a promise well-acted out, as well as a quick fuck in the school's bathrooms, a long finger fuck over a desk in an empty room at lunch hour. I was becoming quite comfortable with being out with Jacob and enjoying every second in his company. It wasn't all about sex as much as that itself was exhilarating. It was the lost hours on his bike as he took me wherever, whenever. It was his deep laughter, not so much a rumbling like Emmett's, but a contagion that I always caught on to quickly. He had a way with seeing the world. Nothing mattered, but the important and what happened in the past was never his concern, it was all about what was happening now.

I was surprised to find that under all that flirting and mind altering fucks, he was sweet and only seemed to have eyes for me. I felt special, something that I never felt with Emmett, no matter what I felt _for_ him. With Jacob, I knew he wanted me around and would do anything to make sure I was secure in that thought. Each time I was in the same room with him, I felt that magnetic pull, that need to touch him - once a torturous feeling, now I welcomed with opened arms, just for the matter that he felt the same way and would make it a point to touch my arm, cup my cheek if only for a second as we passed in the hallway in a rush to get to our classes. And yes, everyone could see the exchange.

I hadn't forgotten about Emmett, in fact, every thought I had about Jacob was followed by him. I compared and contrasted - and always Jacob won in the Pros, but I couldn't shake Emmett's presence out of me, no matter how I tried. Was I a masochistic freak? I couldn't understand just what was going on. Why couldn't I forget the stolen kisses at night, the secretive trips that no one knew of?Why did I miss him in my bed, his minty scent coloring my sheets, his lips secured around my nipples as he bathed them in affection with each thrust in me? Why did I miss him?

That chilly November afternoon, I was asking myself more than ever. I had by now heard of the rough break-up between Emmett and his girlfriend. Word was that Rosalie just wasn't satisfied and went looking for some special attention. There was a lot of other rumors tossed back and forth, those I didn't pay attention to. Emmett was single and from what I could see - miserable. His usual happy, carefree attitude had turned sour, resulting in a few arguments with the football team's couch and the eventful incident at practice. I got the text from Jacob that afternoon. He had a sprained wrist and a dislocated finger. I rushed over to his house the moment I got the message.

"Baby, it's fine," He chuckled, handling a soda in his healthy hand, "Just means you won't be riding my fingers for the next few weeks." But it wasn't fine. Emmett had - without strength reservation - tackled Jacob during practice. Jacob shrugged it off as if it was nothing, but I was _fuming_.

"He's an asshole!" I exclaimed, slamming down my own can, hearing the soda fizz in protest.

"Beautiful, he was just channeling his rough week on the field." He tried to soothe, but I wasn't having it.

"He was channeling it on _you._" But, even with an observant eye, Jacob wouldn't take a chance on a thought like that. I could tell that somewhere in him, he knew I still wanted Emmett and if I had the opportunity to have him - I'd take the chance.

But right there he was wrong. Emmett had ruined any chances of me with him, the moment he acted out selfishly and attacked Jacob, "Jacob, I'm with _you_ and he knows it. He just can't stand that we're out."

Jacob chuckled, adjusting his sling, "No, he can't stand that I have you." He shook his head, before smirking, "He wants you just as bad as I do." And there, I saw the trace of sadness, a look I never witnessed on Jacob's face.

"You have me." I said with conviction. My boyfriend merely offered me a small smile.

"Not all of you."

**xXx**

The rain pattered dangerously on my windshield. Under medication, Jacob was out before the sun was completely passing the horizon. I lay next to him in bed, thinking too hard on what transpired during the last few hours.

And I came to the conclusion.

I _hated_ Emmett.

It was because of him I couldn't let go and Jacob suffered physically and emotionally. It was because of him that I had to ultimately make a choice. I wanted to be happy, but I had to either let go or go back to who I was even if it was with someone I loved.

I turned sharply, avoiding my street, the car skidding along the pavement. Six hours I lay next to Jacob, tracing the strong line of his jaw, smelling the splayed, black locks, kissing his russet skin, admiring all that was offered to me and hating myself for hesitating.

I saw it then; the house I've only been inside once, but passed a hundred or more times, longing to hide away in his bed and hold him to me, desiring something more than he gave - all of him.

God, have I become him?

I braked right at the curb. Without thinking, I shut off the engine and jumped out, storming up the walkway. Rain pelted my face and shoulders sticking my hair to my cheeks. Somehow the tears were lost with the storm and in my rage I banged on the front door.

"Fuck you, Emmett!" I punched the thick door with each syllable uttered, "I _hate_ you! I fucking hate you!" My hands throbbed in pain as I soaked on his doorstep. I sobbed pathetically, trying to gather what was left of my sanity, to turn and leave, but I stood there accepting the idea that I may just face his father or mother. What would I say to them? 'Oh, I'm your son's ex and I'm experiencing a break-down cause of his lack of courage to come out to you.'? Obviously, there was no sanity left in me.

I heard it then. The pound of footsteps, before the lock on the door snapped and the door pulled open. I stared, slack jawed, coming face to face with the very person I yearned and yet detested.

"Edward!" He gasped eyes wide, "What the fuck are you doing?" Granted, he had every right to question me at midnight on his doorstep in the fucking rain, but due to the circumstances I was awarded, I guess I had my rights too.

"What the fuck _I'm _doing?" I screamed, not caring that I woke up neighbors in the process, "_Fuck_ you! Who told you hurting my boyfriend was warranted? Did you feel you had the right then?"

He held up a hand as if coaxing me to calm down, "Edward-"

"Shut the fuck up!" I snapped, "You're heartless. I was just the means to you finding out just who you were and you used it against me and still hid from the world. You never thought about what _I_ wanted or how _I _felt and now that I get a chance at being happy, you selfishly ruined it again," I was panting in the rain, like a pitiful little child and I couldn't find reason to calm myself down, "I want you out of my life, Emmett McCarty. Leave me and Jacob alone!"

"Emmett?" I heard the faint voice of the woman, coming from upstairs, "Is everything alright down there?"

Emmett gave me a pleading look before stepping back in the house to shout at wherever the voice came from, "Mom, it's alright."

"Are you sure? I heard yelling and banging." God, it made me sound like a fool.

"Yes." It seemed to work. There was a shuffling of feet, before I heard her retreating footsteps. I stood in the doorway still panting, but relatively more calm than moments before, "Edward, come in before you catch a cold."

"No." I hissed angrily.

His features were set in stone. Without another word, he took my hand, pulling me inside the house before closing the door behind me, "I can't speak to you while you're out in the cold."

"You don't care." I stood on the tile by the door dripping wet, arms crossed in defiance. Emmett watched me with wounded eyes, but turned away, walking across the open area leading out to a hallway.

"You have no idea how much I do." Was the last thing he said before disappearing in the house. I frowned after him, not sure whether I should follow or not. In a last minute decision, I kicked out of my shoes and socks and followed to the ray of light coming from a room. I entered just in time to see a towel thrown my way. I caught it on reflex. It was rather big and soft and smelled like pine trees. I had a flash of Jacob shuddering over me as he came and had to bite back a smile. He really did make me happy.

"You're here because of what I've done," Emmett stood with his back to the bathroom sink, arms crossed and eyes down, "I can't tell you exactly what happened. I've been trying to come to terms with-" He shook his head, "And he was there, everything I wanted to be for you, and _had_ the chance to be. I don't think I ever hated myself so much." Same here.

"Then why did you do it?" I asked, wrapping myself tighter in the towel.

"Because I told him to stay away from you and he didn't. I knew it would happen, the second I saw him with you. He saw what a gem you are and had no problems snatching you up. It wasn't like you were anyone's, right?" He gave me a knowing look. He was right. I hadn't been anyone's. I could have been his, but he didn't want me.

"And it's his fault that you were too scared shitless to do what he has done already?" I retorted coldly.

"I needed time." He said with the shake of his head.

I barked out a laugh, "Time?" I asked, completely at a lost, "And Rosalie was there to just pass it by, am I right?"

"Nothing happened with Rose," He whispered.

"Sure," I nodded, suddenly remembering something he told me weeks before, "She isn't me."

Emmett's eyes closed, he inhaled through his nose slowly, before exhaling, "No, babe. She isn't." I crumbled from where I stood. He sounded so lost, "I was wrong. I'm sorry for what I did to Jacob. He plays fair and is too fucking friendly to everyone including me." He let out another breath, this one less composed than the last, "And he takes care of you." His voice trembled.

I couldn't help myself. I had to ask, "Why couldn't you, Em?"

"Because loving you wasn't enough." If I crumbled before, I was powder now from the grinding weight of his words.

"It would have been enough for me!" I cried. How different would our worlds be if he would have said those words? I might have held on longer. I could've waited until we were free of high school. If I would have known he wanted me as much as I wanted him...Could I even think about this now?

"But you left me because I wasn't out."

"No," I corrected, "I left because you didn't think of what you were doing to_ me_." I raked a hand through my wet hair, "You wouldn't acknowledge me at school, you snuck in my room when everyone was asleep just to fuck me and leave. I felt cheap, but that wasn't enough for you. You laughed at who _I _was and what I was sacrificing for you."

"Like I said-" He started, but I wasn't having it.

"No!" I cut him off, "You're stupid to sit there and say you loved me. How could you? You loving me would have been enough, Emmett, because you would have considered what the fuck _we_ were, because we were not in a normal relationship."

"Well, then obviously there must be something wrong with me." He said through gritted teeth, pushing himself away from the sink, "I fucking love you, Edward. I can barely sleep at night without fucking touching you. You don't know what I'd do just to _kiss_ you again. To see you, I've done enough!"

I blinked a few times, catching just what he may have meant. He couldn't have...But he told me...

"Emmett!" I gasped in astonishment, stepping away from him.

"Edward, please, it was stupid to do, I know-" He took careful steps towards me, but I held out a hand, keeping him away. He stepped forward, pressing his hard chest against my hand, "You wouldn't see me any other way and it killed me to know that if I hurt him, eventually you'd come-"

"Stop!" I warned, "God, Emmett, please stay back!"

"I love you. And I don't care what you want, I'll give it to you, I promise." His hand combed over my own, moving it to his left pec, pressing it against his shirt. I could feel his warmth under the fabric, the steady beat of his heart. Fucking hell, what was he saying, what was he doing?

"I know it took me so long to realize how miserable I am without you." This was insane. Now that I was with Jacob, he wanted me? Was it because I was suddenly unavailable, that I no longer buckled under his every whim? Did he want me because he always wanted me or because he couldn't have me?

"You don't know what you're talking about." I fought to keep some control, trying to back away from him, but he held my hand right over his heart.

"I do," He added with a bitter chuckle, "I fought this the moment I stepped in your room the first time. I've always wanted to be with you, but I was scared of what that'll make us and when I saw that it meant nothing - seeing you with Jacob fucking happy and knowing _I _could have given you that - I fucking died inside!"

"I can't do this with you, Emmett." I pleaded, "I love you, but I can't…" My head shook, but despite my verbal fight, I felt my will breaking. He stepped forward and this time I didn't push him away. He felt so good against me, pressing me flat into the door, the winter mint of his scent all over me.

"I need you." And I was his completely. Our lips crushed together in a desperate, needy kiss. The towel dropped from my shoulders, hitting the tile with a heavy, wet thud. Instantly, it was forgotten. Our mouths parted in moans, our tongues reacquainting themselves as we kissed in almost a violent want. My hands were impatient, tugging at his tendrils, gripping the nape of his neck to pull him closer and his hands were the same, literally ripping my shirt off my body until it was a shred of cloth at my feet. His fingers pressed and pinched in all the right places, until they were at my waist and finally, my ass, squeezing and spreading my cheeks through my jeans.

It was stupid to want him so fucking much right then. He hurt Jacob intentionally. He knew I would say something, because Jacob clearly wouldn't, because he knew how I felt about Emmett. Fuck, what kind of mess was I in?

"I need to feel you." Emmett moaned, already unbuttoning my jeans, sliding it down my thighs, before pulling away to examine me in my boxers, "Babe." He literally whined, before dropping to his knees. I fought back a moan at the sight. Never in my life had Emmett ever given me head, but right then and there, seeing him tug the elastic band down, just under my growing dick, seeing him nuzzle me before licking along the shaft to the head, I knew it was going to happen. He held me in one hand, stroking slowly as he tried his muscle against me. It was his first time ever and I'm sure it had him nervous.

"You don't have to." I suggested. God, him wanting me was enough.

"I want to." Was all he said before suckling my head in his wet mouth. My body zapped to life, already responding to his touch. I threw my head back against the door, giving in to him tasting me, trying my cock on his tongue, suckling and bobbing as best as he could. It was nowhere close to the pleasure I got from Jacob, but he was rather experienced, so there shouldn't have been a comparison. But hell, there was. Everywhere. And it hurt me right there, wanting All Jacob could give me and just Enough of what Emmett had to offer. I wanted them both, because I was just as selfish.

"Ungh, Emmett!" I pleaded, tugging at his curls, mistakenly guiding him down my cock. He gagged slightly, his throat closing in around my sensitive glands, causing me to buck into his mouth. I pulled back instantly in fear that I may have went too far, but Emmett followed my hips, taking me down his throat in his best attempts, "Nooo," I whined, pulling him away. I angled my head, catching sight of his glistening lips pulling off my flesh. I crooned, catching a thin trail of pre-cum slipping past his lips.

"Am I not good, Babe?" He asked, his beautiful mouth pulling down in a frown.

"No," I shook my head, "God, I just -" I bit my lip, unable to finish my request. If I admitted to this, I'd suffer the consequences.

But Emmett knew my body well enough. He was already pulling my boxers down pass my ankles, allowing me to lift my feet one at a time, before slipping out of his pajama bottoms. I didn't have a moment to reconsider. The tips of his fingers tickled my clammy skin, before his lips met my own in a bruising kiss. The bathroom echoed with our pants and heated moans as Emmett continued to demand his need for him. I whined pathetically against his kiss, feeling him grind his hard cock, just before taking the initiation to lessen the space between us. In a quick motion, both my thighs lifted, wrapping around his waist, my feet resting right under his ass. I threw my arms around his shoulders and moaned out, feeling his cock press against my entrance.

I had a brief flash of Jacob doing the same weeks before in front of the entire school, Emmett included.

Fuck, what was I doing?

"Em, w-wait-" Emmett's lips pecked mine repeatedly, before he pulled back, scooping one arm under my hips, pulling his free hand to his face and spitting on his palm, "Em, please!" His hand disappeared under me and just for the moment, I imagined him stroking himself.

My body shook at the anticipation of him fucking me right then and there, and it ached knowing that as much I didn't want this, I _needed _it - for what, I wasn't sure, "I love you, Babe." He whispered against the shell of my ear, "All I want is you."

"E-em-" Was my last attempt, before I felt the head of his cock against my entrance, his fingers spreading my ass so he could slip in easier. The pain from the friction was unbearable, but it worked against the rush of guilt and fear of the look on Jacob's face.

"_Fuck!_" Emmett roared, jerking his hips against mine, getting a painful whine from me.

This had to be worth it, I thought, catching the strong glare of the bathroom light, hearing my body constantly collide with the door. This had to be worth it.

**xXx**

"Hey, it's me. I'm sorry about last night. We really didn't get to talk it out, but...but, I just want you to know, I love you. I'll talk to you after school." I pocketed my phone, catching the shaky sob that so willingly wanted to escape. After the rough fuck in Emmett's bathroom, I found an excuse to leave, his cock spent and slick, slipping out of me. I didn't look at the mess he made of my ass until that morning, thick streams of his cum, slipping down my thigh tainted maroon. In a panic from the reminder of the night before, I collapsed during my morning shower, everything catching up with me.

The night was lost to anger waning into just what it always had been those last few weeks - a desperate need to hear Emmett say those words, feeling him come in me, confessing he would never hide again - fucking me in his own house. It was what I wanted, but why wasn't I happy with it?

I bit my lip, adjusting in the car. Only 10 more minutes until the school bell rang and my first class began. The day would continue as usual, jocks rushing down the halls, knocking boys against the lockers with broad shoulders, girls flittering in groups of threes and fours, laughing and gossiping about whatever was relevant to them in the last 24 hours. All would be the same, except for the small fact that my life would fucking change. I was faced with a choice last night and just as Emmett came in me, I considered my options:

Do I get what I want or what I need - do I settle for All this could be or just Enough to keep me satisfied?

I unbuckled my seat, catching the shine of Jacob's bike down the parking lot and the hearing the roar of Emmett's truck just as he pulled on campus. I unlocked the car door, gathering my backpack, wincing just as I stepped out into the heavy air. The rain let up at dawn and I was just able to make out sunlight that morning - but only for a few minutes or so. I couldn't tell if that was a good or bad omen.

Did he get my message? Did he know he was my choice, who I wanted as everything?

I closed the car door, preparing myself...for everything.


End file.
